Monday, January 28, 2013

Love and Friendship

I'm not sure if it's inevitable once you enter your thirties, or if it's just where my particular path in life has led me, but some days it seems that everywhere I look, friends are struggling with incredibly difficult events and transitions.  Shepherding parents through serious illness, battling cancer while raising young kids, surviving the death of children.  How do you help with that?  Easing the burden of daily tasks is one thing, but how to do you truly help with something so immense?  My nature is to fix things, to find the solution.  To provide information that can make everything better.  I feel lost and useless when I can't do that. 

The last couple of years have been humbling.  Sometimes there is no solution.  My heart hurts because I want to support my friends and I just don't know how.

Then I had my eyes opened to a different view point.

Love is bearing witness.

I've been mulling over this idea for several weeks.  It's a difficult concept for me because I find my value in tangible things that I do.  I'm learning that loving someone doesn't always mean fixing things for them.  Or even improving things for them.  Sometimes love is just being there.  Through ups and downs, trials and triumphs, joy and despair.  Bearing witness to the events in their life, being a thread in the tapestry of their history.  It's valuable to simply be present, emotionally if not physically, and help keep memories.  

1 comment:

Karen said...

Thank you for this. I'm glad you are present in mine, even if there is nothing you can do to help or better the situation, simply knowing you are there and that you care is sometimes enough.


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