A few weeks ago, my therapist (and I) decided I didn't really need to see her anymore. I really love my therapist (and the friend who recommended her...what are the odds of finding someone great on the first try?!). I would enjoy meeting with her once a week. I didn't enjoy paying for it though and I didn't really NEED to see her anymore. So I left her office the last time with good wishes and instructions to call if I needed to come back. At which point I informed her I get panicky when I have to call people and Josh would be making that call, not me. And she said, "Seriously? We've spent all this time together and you bring this up AS YOU'RE WALKING OUT?? We could have been working on this!!!!!" Sheesh. Glad I didn't mention my fear of toasters, the therapist might think I'm actually crazy or something.
We spent the last meeting reviewing all the things I'd done to get myself back to okay. I went home and promptly started cutting those things out of my routine. Smart, huh? Woo Hoo! 2 weeks of no panic, I'm cured! Who needs exercise? Who needs routine? Who needs to get their butt up off the couch and participate in life?
That, of course, has gone really well. I still feel okay, but I know I felt better three weeks ago. I need to do my homework. Not to fix any dire situation going on right now, but to prevent one from developing again. I mentioned at that last session that I "lost momentum" for a while there. I got bogged down with a lot of...well, life. It was easier to stay in one place than to move and actually deal with the anxiety. I'm moving along now, but I don't have momentum built up yet, I need to keep my foot on the gas, it's much too early to just coast.
So here's me, saying it out loud and holding myself accountable. My husband and my friends will read here and they'll harass me to keep on top of things. Well, my friends will harass, because they're awesome like that and love me enough to point out my faults. My husband will love on me and push me to do things but let me think it's my own idea. He's wily and very wise when it comes to dealing with women.